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trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Pregnancy Advice...

Pregnancy Advice...

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.
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Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.
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Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
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Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
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Q. Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A. Depends on what you're doing with them.
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Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A. Cause you're fatter then they are.
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Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question, dork?
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Q. Will I love my less when the baby is born?
A. No, but your husband might get on your nerves.
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Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
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Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
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Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
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Q. Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A. Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
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Q. What causes baby blues?
A. Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.


trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Well one alternative would be to drag the kid off, get my own lips on there, and try not to suck as hard!

trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Seriously though, Mothers would have to be one of the greatest inspirations in the world. As a Mother will give her own life to save her child.
**
Even if wasn't best of Mothers, at least she carried her child for around nine months or so, and would have had to deny herself many things. One would think that would be enough, for starters?
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Also read ages ago, that a Mother will not get pregnant when breast feeding, as natures way of birth control, to give the poor dear a bit of a break. But can't vouch for that one.

rm_azurefox
2227 Beiträge
quote trumby53_4703:
Seriously though, Mothers would have to be one of the greatest inspirations in the world. As a Mother will give her own life to save her child. *O:)* Even if wasn't best of Mothers, at least she carried her child for around nine months or so, and would have had to deny herself many things. One would think that would be enough, for starters? * Also read ages ago, that a Mother will not get pregnant when breast feeding, as natures way of birth control, to give the poor dear a bit of a break. But can't vouch for that one.
Nope! In a large percentage of cases the woman will not fall pregnant.. but sometimes nature just doesn't get it right... as many of my friends have found.... now have bubbas 10 months apart!!!!! Eee-gads!

rm_azurefox
2227 Beiträge
Thanks Trumby! Made my day! The last joke is soooo true..... Damn you Hard-bodied beauties!!!!

I have spent a year getting 30 kilos off the sensible way (health first peoples!) and now I am seeing all my efforts being reversed as my belly bump grows . I am still the same weight as I was before pregnancy but the belly seems to detract from that fact.... but little bubba comes first now.. There will be enought time for Mama to become boot-ilicious again once he/she is here!

Watch this space!!! It's shrinking!!!!

trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Took me a day or so to get the bit about the 'Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos' being the cause of baby blues, Azurefox. When first read that, was nearly going to omit it, as couldn't understand it myself.

So happy to see that you are right on the ball, even though your hormones are probably allover the place.

The bimbos probably take tablets also, to stop their cycle. Well at least some of the supermodels anyway.

trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Welcome to the Pudding Club, Azurefox.

Beautiful twelve week old baby girl on one side of me, and one in the oven on the other side. Hubby banging away, fixing up the house, to make room for the new arrival. So children seem to be all the rage around here.

trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
Thanks for the info on the fact that a woman can still conceive, whilst breast feeding, ladies and gentlemen. First read the popular belief that couldn't fall pregnant, from an Astrology magazine that used to subscribe to, back in 2000. It ended up spanning about sixteen folders, and takes up a full shelf of my bookcase, so can't place my hands on the article easily at present.
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Out of curiosity asked one of my friends mothers at that time, who had a larger size family, but can't remember her answer now.So thanks to the bBw brain trust, now now that tandem breast feeding is a distinct possibility. And fortunately, a couple of containers to choose from.
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Humongous!

trumby53_4703
2426 Beiträge
He's got the power...A true-life adventure.

Sparky Sperm...It's a short but an intense life one for these little guys.
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Here they come!! Millions of 'em...fighting their way upstream!!!
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And there's Sparky...right up in front!! "I'm the toughest li'l bad-ass sperm that evah wuz"!!
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Sally The Sperm..."Hey Sparky I wonder what it is...This Egg"!
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"I dunno Sal, but it sure is an uphill battle all the way!! Be that as it may, i must keep on"!!
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"Gee...I'm th' only one left...But I'm getting tired..puff...pant...left it be soon...I cant keep going much longer"...
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"Holy Toledo! What's that big thing comin' the other way!!! It must be...It's the...EGG"!!!
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"Hi big boy"
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ZYGOTE

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